Words for..eh...em...PENIS!

For an organ so seminal to human existence, humans have an inordinate difficulty talking about the penis, and have invented numerous euphemisms for it. These can be based on the organ's form, function, or desired use.

§  Ankle-spanker

§  Arrow

§  Badger

§  Banana

§  Bang cock

§Putz

§  Schmingy

§  Schlong

§  Bat 'n' Balls

§  Baton

§  Bazooka

§  the beast

§  Bob

§  Carrot

§  Cigar

§  Cock

§  Cucumber

§  David

§  Dick

§  Digger Dog

§  Ding-dong

§  Drill Machine

§  Engine cranker

§  Family jewels

§  Ferret

§  Fire hydrant

§  Fishing rod

§  Flagpole

§  Foah

§  the Friendly Gnome

§  Gigglestick

§  Glue Stick

§  the Grandma Chafer

§  Hole Hunter

§  Hammer

§  Hanging Johnny

§  Heat-seeking moisture missile

§  Horn

§  Horse

§  Hose

§  Hot dog

§  Injection

§  Jackhammer

§  John Henry

§  John Thomas

§  Johnson

§  Joystick

§  Kidney-cracker

§  Knob

§  Legwarmer

§  Lemon juicer

§  Love whistle

§  Magic wand

§  Missile

§  Mushroom

§  Mutton-dagger

§  Neck tie

§  Nizzle

§  Noob Toob

§  Number 1

§  Old blind Bob

§  On button

§  One-eyed monster

§  One-eyed snake

§  One-eyed trouser trout

§  Pecker

§  Peter

§  Pillar

§  Pimperclip

§  Pocket rocket

§  Popsicle

§  Pork 'n' beans

§  Pork sword

§  Priest's only friend

§  Rocket

§  Rod

§  Rumpleforeskin

§  Scepter

§  Showerhead

§  Skin-Flute

§  Snake

§  Snooch

§  Sperm whale

§  Spike

§  Spire

§  Sprayer

§  Super Soaker

§  Syringe

§  Tallywhacker

§  Tank

§  Third leg

§  Tool

§  Tower

§  Trouser snake

§  Trumpet

§  Tube steak

§  Viagra waster

§  Wang

§  Wazzu

§  Weasel

§  Weenie (Wiener)

§  Yogurt cannon

§  Zakaru

Some people prefer the personalized approach and invent a pet name for their penis.

Less imaginative people source names for their penis from a penis name generator.

 What do you call yours?