Basic protocols of the leather/bear community:

1. No touch without permission

This is something that is relatively recent in the past few decades, but seems to be wildly accepted across the country.  Respect is given to ALL members of the community 

Master/Dom/Daddy as well as slave/boy/pet.  No one has the right to touch another without expressed permission.  In the case of a slave/pet it is usually with the permission of his master/owner. 

It is considered very respectful to ask permission of everyone to touch, even if it is as simple as a hug.  Permission given to touch is not about the person asking the question, it is about the person who is giving permission.  If someone says No, this should not be taken as offence or personal, remember, it is not about YOU (the asker) it is about the person you are wishing to have contact with.

It is considered very disrespectful to touch without permission especially in scenarios of ass slapping/grabbing when one is going bare-assed, the grabbing or pulling of a boy/slaves collar (it can also be dangerous), harnesses, or of someone'spersonal belongings (whips, floggers, and even human property). 

2. Formal and informal  introductions

It is generally accepted to approach everyone on the same plain and show a common respect regardless of their designation in the community. 

No one can assume a person's status by looks alone, so it is considered appropriate to begin a conversation with everyone, in an open and respectful manner.  If the person is under ownership or control of another, it is either their responsibility to let you know this OR their Master/Owner/ Daddy will relay this information to you. 

3. Addressing a person by a title

There are two schools of thought when it comes to titles.  The first is that titles are reserved for specific relationships, such as a Master to his slave, a Daddy to his boy, a Sir to his sub.  The titles of their respect are between the people in that relationship.  It is perceived by some in the community to be pretentious to force these self-imposed personal titles onto others who are not in the direct relationship.

Others feel that if someone introduces himself with a title, it is out of respect that the titles are adhered to when talking and introducing the individual.  These titles can include but are not limited to Master, Daddy, as well as boy, in addition to the person's name.

In general, these two schools of though may find conflict, but we must all try to find a common ground to work and relate to one another, so use your best judgment when utilizing or not utilizing titles. 

The bottom line is that no one should take it as a sign of disrespect if one chooses not to use a title when talking with someone who is not in your specific relationship.

4. Protocols of dress

Flagging:

The term flagging in the Leather/Bear Communities refers to how you wear a particular item of clothing. In general, articles of clothing worn on the left hand sideof a person's body gives the impression that you are Dominant, Top, Aggressor, or Active in a relationship or scene.  If worn on the right hand side of the body you are submissive, bottom, or passive in a relationship or scene.  For people who are versatile, often they will flag both left and right.  The articles of clothing these are most often seen in are, but not limited to, arm bands, gauntlets, wrist bands, and hankies.  Hankies come in a WIDE variety of colours and each colour and shade signifies a particular interest and or fetish within the Leather Community. Many Leather Bars usually have at least a partial listing of the more common colours and their meaning. 

Always remember, that just because someone appears to be flagging a particular colour hankie or article of clothing on a particular side does NOT necessarily mean he is into what you think. In the modern era, leather to some is just an accessory, so it is always best to clarify a person's interest and not make any assumptions as to a particular meaning.

Equipment:

Often particular pieces of equipment can be attached to a person (but not necessarily worn).  Such items include, but not limited to, floggers, restraints, handcuffs, etc.  As with articles of clothing, if worn on the left it usually means you would like to utilize the equipment on someone, if on the right, it gives the impression you would like the equipment to be used on you. Equipment is personal property and should never be grabbed, or used without permission.

Collars (chains):

Leather collars and or chains are very symbolic within the Leather Community. It is usually an identification of relationship between a Daddy/boy or a Master/slave.  Sometimes it is more specific by the addition of a closed padlock without a key.  Often these articles are worn so that they must be put on and taken off by the one who possesses the key.  As with all protocol this is a generality, because in this day and age, there are many who wear collars or chains as an accessory or even as a piece of fetish wear. So always query someone if you really want to know.

Leather Vests:

Leather Vests are very common within the Leather Community, a bit less within the Bear Communities.  Often you will see pins as well as colourful patches or information on them.  Most often, the back of a vest is reserved for two distinct purposes:

1. The identification of one association to a  particular organization or business.

This patch is known as the club's colours and identifies a person to that club or organization. It is considered Leather Courtesy to greet someone wearing colours from out of town by a member of the local club.  Remember, the leather community is a small tight knit group of like minded people. So we must strive to be open and friendly to our fellow tribesmen who may wander into our neck of the woods.

2.  The identification of a person who may be holding, or held, a particular title from a contest or an honorary designation. 

The front of a vest is often covered with pins.  Usually the left side of a vest is reserved for affiliation with specific organizations, runs that one has participated in, events, etc.  They are worn on the left side to show their connection to the person's heart. 

The right side is often reserved for pins which do not have a particular affiliation such as events you may have not participated in, but have received a pin, a Friendship Pin, etc.

Friendship Pins:

Pins which are given to an individual, usually by a person affiliated with a club/event/or title holder.  These pins symbolize that a member of a club/organization felt that you merited the honour of wearing their clubs' friendship pin.  One tradition of presenting a Friendship Pin has the giver  placing  the pin on the front of the receiver's  jeans, at the point where the head of his dick (penis) sets in his  jeans.  After that day/evening, the pin is is moved to the vest. 

Members of a club are encourage to introduce themselves whenever they see their clubs' pin on a person's vest.  A fellow club member gave this person the honour of wearing the club pin and  it is common courtesy to introduce yourself as a member of the club. 

Receiving a pin is usually considered an honour, therefore it is considered improper etiquette to ask for a friendship pin.  It is an item that is always given as an act of friendship.

Leather Club/Bear Club Etiquette whilst in public places:

What follows are some basic etiquette when at a leather bar or event: 

·         Never touch without permission (body or equipment). 

·         Greet everyone on an equal level of respect regardless of their visual designation, until requested differently.  

·         Respect each others opinions. This does not mean you have to accept it, but offer the respect that in turn is afforded to you.  

·         Flagging hankies, articles of clothing or equipment on the left gives the impression you are Dominant/Top/ Aggressor or Active in a relationship or scene.  Flagging hankies, articles of clothing or equipment on the right gives the impression you are submissive/bottom or passive in a relationship or scene.  Mixing the items you flag can be confusing and a sign of personal embarrassment. 

·         Never wear cologne.  

·         Never wear articles of leather with tennis shoes  (This rule is for when wearing leather, not for "bear-ware" such as cut-offs and a flannel shirt, where trainers [sneakers] are acceptable!) 

·         Never use female pronouns when referring to men, except in the rare case of a transgendered person, in female clothing, whom wishes to be identified only as female.

·         Always negotiate in an honest manner before entering a scene with someone, including appropriate disclosure of any illnesses.  (This is important for the safety of all scenes.)

·         The terms Safe Sane and Consensual are often utilized within the Leather Community.  Safe and Sane is defined by the open and honest dialogue between two (or more) consenting adults who come to a common agreement to engage in a scene.  It may not be viewed as safe or sane to others, but these consenting agreements are between individuals and, in general, are not the business of outsiders to the agreement.

By accepting or taking a position in the Bear or Leather Community you are holding yourself and others up to a higher standard of mutual Respect, Honour, Loyalty, and Honesty.  These are values that should be practices in all communities, but expected within the brotherhood of the tribe.  Most members of the community are more than willing to share their views, thoughts knowledge and education about the Leather and Bear Lifestyle.  Individuals who wear club or organization colours are very willing to help a newcomer in his new journey into our lifestyle -- seek these folks!